So I'm gonna start this blog with a little background incase I actually have someone new reading it. At this time in my life I am a 40 year old, polyamorous, pansexual, widowed mother of 4 children by birth, 5 children by choice (5 Boys and 4 Girls. That's 9 all together for those having trouble keeping up.) and 9 grandchildren with one on the way. I have mixed grandchildren and white grandchildren. I am an only child by birth, but I have a few who are my soul siblings. One is my big Brother who is of color. If you don't understand any of this please feel free to ask questions. You don't know the answer until you ask.
I will tell you right now I truly hate labels and I hate using the words BLACK AND WHITE to describe people. I AM NOT WHITE!!! My skin tone is more of a peach or possibly apricot. Just like people we call black aren't all Black. Most are some shade of brown. I ALSO HATE that "white" people are the only ones who can't use the ancestry to describe themselves. I hear people complain all the time about having to check the African American box, the Island Pacific Box, the Native American box. I HATE checking the White box. Most days I now check the other box and write in European American.
If anything I have said pisses you of, that's your right. Don't read my shit. If anything I'm about to say pisses you of, Don't read my shit. I have a horrible addiction to TikTok and one of my favorite creators on there says, Get Fucked and Stay Fucked if you don't like it. The time for being polite is over, but I wont shove it in your face. Make sense?
Have you ever just had something stewing for years in the background of your mind? Something you know needs to addressed and no one is doing it, but you aren't sure how. You Speak. One voice can turn into thousands. But You need to do it the right way. You don't shove it down peoples throats, you don't shove it in peoples faces. You don't make the other side less important than what you are fighting for. Does this make sense. I'll give you a couple of examples so you can see what I'm saying before I get to the heart of this post. You are in the LGBTQ+ family. You want equal rights. Honey I believe you should have them. I think you should be able to marry whichever gender, non gender your little heart desires. But that DOES NOT make a heterosexual marriage any less. A lot (Not nearly enough) don't care that you walk down the street holding your other persons hand. There will always be haters. No matter how far in life we evolve, there is always going to be hate. I wish I could be Jeannie or Samantha Darrin and slap my arms together or twitch my nose and make it all go away. I can't, so I teach my children it's non of our business who anyone loves. It's okay to be who you are. It's not okay to shove it down someone's throat. Example 2: The man I call big brother is of Color. I would fight for that man, just as I would for my grandchildren who are of mixed races. Yes we as America needs to change. But putting any one race above another race is not how to do it. Riots are not going to make people change their minds about it!!!! I don't care what race you are, if you riot you are a Fucking Idiot. All you are doing is hurting yourself if you get caught and most of the time innocent businesses caught in the cross fire, some of which never return. Taken a knee at the National Anthem doesn't do anything other than piss people off. Yes they are talking about you taking a knee but not in a good way. Not in a Positive way. Our National Anthem is about AMERICANS. Not the different races in America. WE HAVE PEOPLE DYING to defend your right to take that knee. Not just military (Don't get me started on that) but police, fire, emt's. Our Front line defense both foreign and domestic. Does that make sense to anyone else?
So let us move on the reason I write this post! WE HAVE TO START DOING BETTER FOR OUR SONS AND NOT JUST OUR DAUGHTERS.
ARE YOU FLIPPING LISTENING? THERE IN THE BACK, CLEAN THE COBWEBS OUT OF YOUR HEAD. YOU CLEAN THE CRAP OUT BETWEEN YOUR EARS. YOU LISTEN TO THESE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH....
STOP teaching your children that it is NOT okay to abuse girls/women but it is okay to abuse boys/men. Anyone teaching their sons to not a hit a woman is teaching them it's okay for the woman to abuse them, because boys/men are not allowed to hit girls/women back no matter what. You are not allowed to defend yourself from abuse. Yes statistically women are abused more then men are. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT DOESN'T HAPPEN THE OTHER WAY AROUND. I want you to picture this:
Man and a woman are dating. They are at one of their house or even living together at this point. They start yelling at them, calling them names, they say they are sorry. It evolves into pushing, they say are sorry. Pushing moves into hitting, again they say they are sorry. All the while the person getting abused isn't defending themselves. They take the abuse. They can't touch the other person because they know if they do, they'll get into trouble.
Now imagine that this is your brother, son, father, best friend. He's been taught you don't hit a woman no matter what because than you aren't a man. If you can't control your woman than you deserve to get beat. Take it like a man. Men don't cry. So they let this woman hit them, call them names, take advantage of them. All because they were raised to not hit a woman. They can't even grab her to stop her because she may bruise from how hard he has to hold her to get the abuse to stop. And if she bruises the tables are turned. Even if the bruises on him are more, cause then she gave them to him defending herself. We pat her on the back and we are proud of her because she stood up for herself. But if your son/brother/bff/father were to do that he'd be ridiculed for allowing a woman to beat on him. Asked, Your bigger than she is why didn't you walk away? Because the minute he does she hits herself with something so now he is abusing her.
Imagine your son/brother/bff/father is gay/trans/just likes to be pretty. He gets attacked by a group of guys. He's bigger than all these guys and defends himself doing more damage physically then they did. He gets into trouble because most time.
Lets move on to rape. A girl/woman gets raped and we instantly believe her story. You should never doubt the victim is what we are told. We move heaven and earth to find her rapist. But if a man gets raped by a woman, we ridicule him, tell him his lying there is no way he could be raped by a woman. There is no way he could get hard if it was rape.
Do we see at all where I am going with any of this. We have to stop putting labels on people (MOST LABELS). We have to start loving thy neighbor. We live in a society where most people don't know who there neighbor is other than the color of their skin. Or the Flag they have flying in their yard. WE NEED TO START LOOKING PAST all that and to what kind of person they are. Everyone makes mistakes no one is perfect.
Okay I think I'm done with my rant or Soapbox if you will.
Be kind to someone today. You never know whose life you might change.
