As I trace your lips with the tip of my tongue,
I get the masculine taste of you
You taste sweet, yet slightly salty,
From the gentle sweat we are working up.
The way my tongue darts in and out of your mouth to caress,
It drives you completely crazy with lustful need.
But, alas my lover, you somehow keep it under control
As you gently grasp my face between your two work worn hands.
With you holding my face ever so gently
You bend down and kiss me ever so sweetly.
You, my gentle warrior, know all the right words
The words that make my heart melt.
Through all of this you tell me you
That you love me and that you will always be there for me.
And this my lover is all I need to hear
As your finger tips slide through my hair.
You my gentle warrior, my one true love are all I’ll ever need.
NJ Shotwell
08-04-1998
2040
Portside Cinema, P’cola FL
Revised 07-19-2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Rainbows, shooting Stars and Birthday Wishes
Rainbows, shooting stars and birthday wishes,
these are all the things you in believe in as a child.
Bills, work and a never ending headache
these are the things you deal with as an adult.
Kick the can, double-dutch and capture the flag
are the games you fondly remember.
Aspirin, ulcers and struggling to make ends meet
are the things you end up with as you grow older.
To be able to just be free and have no restraints,
but than you realize that, that time has pasted.
Rainbows, shooting stars and birthday wishes
don’t you wish you could be young again.
NJ Shotwell
03-05-07
2156
Revised 07-19-10
these are all the things you in believe in as a child.
Bills, work and a never ending headache
these are the things you deal with as an adult.
Kick the can, double-dutch and capture the flag
are the games you fondly remember.
Aspirin, ulcers and struggling to make ends meet
are the things you end up with as you grow older.
To be able to just be free and have no restraints,
but than you realize that, that time has pasted.
Rainbows, shooting stars and birthday wishes
don’t you wish you could be young again.
NJ Shotwell
03-05-07
2156
Revised 07-19-10
Sunday, July 18, 2010
The Prawn
When I look into your eyes
I see hope and unconditional love.
When I hold you close
I feel like there is nothing I can’t do.
When you tell me that you love me
My heart swells and my eyes water.
When you wipe away my tears
I know somehow we’ll always make it.
When I tuck you in at night
I always have to watch your beautiful face as you fall asleep.
When you wake me up the next morning
I am always surprised how your smile makes me feel.
Just know that I love you
And you will always be my “Prawn”.
NJ Shotwell
03-05-2007
Revised 07-18-2010
Twinkle
I sit here looking up at the thousands of stars that twinkle
And all I can think of is you.
I look out at the pool and think of the fun we had
And all the fun we will have in the future.
I miss my babydoll, I miss you
More than I ever thought possible.
I miss the nights when we lay on the couch
And started many, many movies.
I remember the look of hunger in your eyes
When I showed you my presents…. In your favorite color.
I can’t wait to see that look again,
But even with missing you like this I know this is what we need.
This I a test of our relationship
To see how strong we are.
I know we are both very strong
And that we will get through this.
This and any other thing that life throws at us
To try and stop us from loving each other.
I just want you to remember that I love you
And that I will always be here for you no matter what.
-NJ Shotwell
10-09-1998
Revised 07-18-2010
And all I can think of is you.
I look out at the pool and think of the fun we had
And all the fun we will have in the future.
I miss my babydoll, I miss you
More than I ever thought possible.
I miss the nights when we lay on the couch
And started many, many movies.
I remember the look of hunger in your eyes
When I showed you my presents…. In your favorite color.
I can’t wait to see that look again,
But even with missing you like this I know this is what we need.
This I a test of our relationship
To see how strong we are.
I know we are both very strong
And that we will get through this.
This and any other thing that life throws at us
To try and stop us from loving each other.
I just want you to remember that I love you
And that I will always be here for you no matter what.
-NJ Shotwell
10-09-1998
Revised 07-18-2010
Best Friends
You say you are y best friend
But you never listen to me when I need you.
I say lets go do something
But you were always too busy.
Now I am the busy one and
You, my friend, are now the one upset.
I have always been there for you
But you were always with one of them.
I have tried my damnedest to keep
Ur friendship together.
Yet you just keep pushing me
Further and further away.
Then you ask me to do something
And I instantly come to your side.
Than you push me away again,
Like yesterday’s trash.
I don’t know how much more
Of this my heart can take.
Not only am I losing m mind,
But I’m also losing my best friend.
-NJS
03-13-1997
But you never listen to me when I need you.
I say lets go do something
But you were always too busy.
Now I am the busy one and
You, my friend, are now the one upset.
I have always been there for you
But you were always with one of them.
I have tried my damnedest to keep
Ur friendship together.
Yet you just keep pushing me
Further and further away.
Then you ask me to do something
And I instantly come to your side.
Than you push me away again,
Like yesterday’s trash.
I don’t know how much more
Of this my heart can take.
Not only am I losing m mind,
But I’m also losing my best friend.
-NJS
03-13-1997
The Meeting
The first time we met we were in the
hallway and you bumped into my trying to pass.
The nest time was in the lunch line and you
dumped your lunch in my lap because you tripped.
The third time was at our lockers,
for we were right next to each other.
The time at our lockers was when I
lost my heart and it floated your way.
That is a day I’ll never forget
because that’s the day I let my heart slip.
We glanced at each other all day through,
shyly and slowly at first.
Then at last you smiled my way
and brightened my entire day.
On that very same day
you also gave me your heart.
Natasha Joell Shotwell
8th Grade
1993-1994
hallway and you bumped into my trying to pass.
The nest time was in the lunch line and you
dumped your lunch in my lap because you tripped.
The third time was at our lockers,
for we were right next to each other.
The time at our lockers was when I
lost my heart and it floated your way.
That is a day I’ll never forget
because that’s the day I let my heart slip.
We glanced at each other all day through,
shyly and slowly at first.
Then at last you smiled my way
and brightened my entire day.
On that very same day
you also gave me your heart.
Natasha Joell Shotwell
8th Grade
1993-1994
My Heart
The heart is a very special gift to give,
and every time mine beats it beats for you.
Each time you place your hand over my heart,
it beats faster and harder just from your touch.
I would give a million of my heartbeats,
just to feel one of your against my cheek.
You are a deep meaning of my life,
without you my heart feels as if it beats no more.
Natasha Joell Shotwell
1994
revised 01-21-07
and every time mine beats it beats for you.
Each time you place your hand over my heart,
it beats faster and harder just from your touch.
I would give a million of my heartbeats,
just to feel one of your against my cheek.
You are a deep meaning of my life,
without you my heart feels as if it beats no more.
Natasha Joell Shotwell
1994
revised 01-21-07
I Can Still Feel
I can still feel your sweet breath oh so
close to me that I want to cry.
I can still feel your strong embrace
that always kept me safe and warm.
I can still feel the surge of passion flow
through me when our lips met.
I can still feel your gentle hands upon
me when I needed the comfort.
But I will no longer be able to feel all those things,
because you chose to be with her over me.
So now at night when I know the two of you lay in each other’s arms,
I lay alone with only my memories of us to keep me warm.
Natasha J. Shotwell
November 1993
close to me that I want to cry.
I can still feel your strong embrace
that always kept me safe and warm.
I can still feel the surge of passion flow
through me when our lips met.
I can still feel your gentle hands upon
me when I needed the comfort.
But I will no longer be able to feel all those things,
because you chose to be with her over me.
So now at night when I know the two of you lay in each other’s arms,
I lay alone with only my memories of us to keep me warm.
Natasha J. Shotwell
November 1993
First Encounter
When our eyes first meet
I knew you were the one.
My heart, mind and soul screams,
at the smallest hint of your name.
You looked so afraid the first time we talked,
that I wanted to pull you close and keep you safe.
There were so many obstacles
that you and I had to overcome to be together.
But alas, my love, fate had different plans for us
and though we tried we were unable to be one.
Natasha J. Shotwell
October 1994
Revised Jan 21, 2007
I knew you were the one.
My heart, mind and soul screams,
at the smallest hint of your name.
You looked so afraid the first time we talked,
that I wanted to pull you close and keep you safe.
There were so many obstacles
that you and I had to overcome to be together.
But alas, my love, fate had different plans for us
and though we tried we were unable to be one.
Natasha J. Shotwell
October 1994
Revised Jan 21, 2007
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
The Feel of You
Your touch is feather light
as you trace the side of my face.
Your breath so sweet
as you kiss your way up my neck.
Then as you reach my lips
I melt into your warm embrace.
You are the one,
the one my heart beats for.
With just the right touch from you,
and it sets my whole body afire.
So now I ask only one thing,
that you love me the same way I love you.
Natasha J. Shotwell
Oct 1994
Revised Jan 21, 2007
as you trace the side of my face.
Your breath so sweet
as you kiss your way up my neck.
Then as you reach my lips
I melt into your warm embrace.
You are the one,
the one my heart beats for.
With just the right touch from you,
and it sets my whole body afire.
So now I ask only one thing,
that you love me the same way I love you.
Natasha J. Shotwell
Oct 1994
Revised Jan 21, 2007
Mirrored Eyes
Looking into his mirrored eyes
I see myself haunted by the past.
Running a unsteady hand across his cheek
I wonder about what else I may mess up.
Alone, yet not alone
as I sit in the bosom of the family.
How cruel life seems at times,
taking it upon it's self to laugh, cry and through rocks at you.
The hate swelling inside ready to burst
like a untamed volcano.
Never knowing what will happen
and never knowing what to do when it does.
How to explain to a beautiful child
that you destroyed their life before they even had a chance to live.
Than I shake my head and the mirrored eyes are gone
and all I see is my beautiful baby boy.
Natasha J. Shotwell
1011pm
1-31-07
I see myself haunted by the past.
Running a unsteady hand across his cheek
I wonder about what else I may mess up.
Alone, yet not alone
as I sit in the bosom of the family.
How cruel life seems at times,
taking it upon it's self to laugh, cry and through rocks at you.
The hate swelling inside ready to burst
like a untamed volcano.
Never knowing what will happen
and never knowing what to do when it does.
How to explain to a beautiful child
that you destroyed their life before they even had a chance to live.
Than I shake my head and the mirrored eyes are gone
and all I see is my beautiful baby boy.
Natasha J. Shotwell
1011pm
1-31-07
Last Nights Dream
Last Night’s Dream
Last night I dreamed of the two of us
in each others arms holding on tight.
Last night I dreamed of your strong warm
body lying next to mine on a cold winter night.
Last night I dreamed that you were mine
and I was yours for the rest of time.
Last night I swear I could feel your warm
breath on my shoulder as you kissed my neck.
But it was only a dream with you
that I know shall never come true.
Natasha Joell Shotwell
Last night I dreamed of the two of us
in each others arms holding on tight.
Last night I dreamed of your strong warm
body lying next to mine on a cold winter night.
Last night I dreamed that you were mine
and I was yours for the rest of time.
Last night I swear I could feel your warm
breath on my shoulder as you kissed my neck.
But it was only a dream with you
that I know shall never come true.
Natasha Joell Shotwell
Just a Fantasy
Fresh dew drops dance in the morning light,
as I watch the sun caress your sleeping face.
As I lay my head against your chest,
your heart sounds like it’s calling out to me.
Your arm wrapped around my waist,
bringing us together as one soul.
Looking up into your beautiful eyes
I see all the love that you wont admit.
I close my eyes to memorize what I’m seeing
and when I open them I realize it was all just a fantasy.
You are not laying here with me
and you never will.
Natasha j. Shotwell
1043pm
2-1-07
as I watch the sun caress your sleeping face.
As I lay my head against your chest,
your heart sounds like it’s calling out to me.
Your arm wrapped around my waist,
bringing us together as one soul.
Looking up into your beautiful eyes
I see all the love that you wont admit.
I close my eyes to memorize what I’m seeing
and when I open them I realize it was all just a fantasy.
You are not laying here with me
and you never will.
Natasha j. Shotwell
1043pm
2-1-07
Dark & Dangerous
Dark and dangerous thoughts dance across my clutter mind
trying to force their way into my everyday actions.
Looking out into the world through unseening glazed eyes
trouble begins to seep into my pores.
My safe haven, my refuge
now feels like it's been invaded.
Knowing that I may hurt the ones I love
I back away to watch from afar.
I stand there trembling in unknown fear
for I know that eventually they will all melt away.
Every one I thought I could trust and thought I loved
walk towards the fading light of the day.
No one looks back, no one says wait
I stand there and wipe the tear from my eye.
NJS
7-18-07
2239
trying to force their way into my everyday actions.
Looking out into the world through unseening glazed eyes
trouble begins to seep into my pores.
My safe haven, my refuge
now feels like it's been invaded.
Knowing that I may hurt the ones I love
I back away to watch from afar.
I stand there trembling in unknown fear
for I know that eventually they will all melt away.
Every one I thought I could trust and thought I loved
walk towards the fading light of the day.
No one looks back, no one says wait
I stand there and wipe the tear from my eye.
NJS
7-18-07
2239
Simple Caress
The simple caress of a trembling hand,
will wipe the lines from a trouble face.
The soft touch of his lips against hers,
make the dullest of days seem bright.
Her soft small hand sliding into his large work worn one,
gives them both a sense of peace and security.
As they slumber wrapped in each others arms,
they know they are soul mates to last all time.
Natasha J. Shotwell
8:08am
Sept 8, 2007
will wipe the lines from a trouble face.
The soft touch of his lips against hers,
make the dullest of days seem bright.
Her soft small hand sliding into his large work worn one,
gives them both a sense of peace and security.
As they slumber wrapped in each others arms,
they know they are soul mates to last all time.
Natasha J. Shotwell
8:08am
Sept 8, 2007
Started as Friends
We started out as friends
that fatefully night.
We became lovers
by chance.
We've become important
to each other.
We each know that
the others been hurt.
So we each walk
with the softest steps.
Nor you or I want to
frighten the other.
One day we will get past this
and will be able to be what we are ment to be.
Natasha J. Shotwell
that fatefully night.
We became lovers
by chance.
We've become important
to each other.
We each know that
the others been hurt.
So we each walk
with the softest steps.
Nor you or I want to
frighten the other.
One day we will get past this
and will be able to be what we are ment to be.
Natasha J. Shotwell
Angels Wings
Tear drops on the wings of angels,
burn like acid.
Blood splatters across their troubled faces,
haunt memories for all time.
Splinter glass slashes in jagged lines,
to take down their noble stance.
Yet the caress of Human laughter,
heals the Angels wounded wing.
Natasha J. Shotwell
8:20am
9-08-07
burn like acid.
Blood splatters across their troubled faces,
haunt memories for all time.
Splinter glass slashes in jagged lines,
to take down their noble stance.
Yet the caress of Human laughter,
heals the Angels wounded wing.
Natasha J. Shotwell
8:20am
9-08-07
Thankful
Laying wrapped in your arms at night,
I feel secure and safe.
Watching your smile every time he laughs,
makes my heart skip a beat.
Looking into your eyes as you bend to kiss me good bye
I understand what it is to be wanted.
As you tuck him in at night
I see the love he has for you.
I am very thankful for having you in my life,
you make me feel alive again!
NJS
2233
11-26-07
I feel secure and safe.
Watching your smile every time he laughs,
makes my heart skip a beat.
Looking into your eyes as you bend to kiss me good bye
I understand what it is to be wanted.
As you tuck him in at night
I see the love he has for you.
I am very thankful for having you in my life,
you make me feel alive again!
NJS
2233
11-26-07
Shattered Dreams
Shattered dreams on a moonless night
that engulfs my waking peace.
Jagged glass upon my saddened face
like dew drops on a blade of shaven grass.
Unheard screams echoing through out my mind
that no one but me seems to be able to hear.
Reaching out from the inside
just to be pushed away by no one but myself.
Unable to feel you as you touch your lips to mine
because my lips are blue and my heart beats no more.
Natasha j. Shotwell
1056pm
2-1-07
that engulfs my waking peace.
Jagged glass upon my saddened face
like dew drops on a blade of shaven grass.
Unheard screams echoing through out my mind
that no one but me seems to be able to hear.
Reaching out from the inside
just to be pushed away by no one but myself.
Unable to feel you as you touch your lips to mine
because my lips are blue and my heart beats no more.
Natasha j. Shotwell
1056pm
2-1-07
This is my Life
As tear drops splatter to the ground
so does a thousand dreams.
Hopes for what has yet to come
are dashed by the stain of blood.
All the faith inside the cavity of the mind
is erased by the dark abyss of fear.
What was once good is now evil,
what was once light is now dark.
The thread that held them apart
now weaves them closer together.
To hold on to sanity
means to lose reality.
This is my life!
Natasha Shotwell
7-19-07
1939
so does a thousand dreams.
Hopes for what has yet to come
are dashed by the stain of blood.
All the faith inside the cavity of the mind
is erased by the dark abyss of fear.
What was once good is now evil,
what was once light is now dark.
The thread that held them apart
now weaves them closer together.
To hold on to sanity
means to lose reality.
This is my life!
Natasha Shotwell
7-19-07
1939
Never... Understanding
To never understand what it is about me,
that makes you come back to my arms.
To never understand why you chose
to spend time with me instead of with others.
To never understand my own mind enough
to tell you the thousands of things going on in it.
To never understand your mind enough
to know how to answer the unasked questions.
To understanding the hurt we’ve both suffered
and are some how working our way through it.
To understanding that yes we may get hurt,
but some things are worth the risk.
To understanding the thoughts in your head
so that the thoughts in mine aren’t confused.
-Natasha J. Shotwell
2211
11-26-07
that makes you come back to my arms.
To never understand why you chose
to spend time with me instead of with others.
To never understand my own mind enough
to tell you the thousands of things going on in it.
To never understand your mind enough
to know how to answer the unasked questions.
To understanding the hurt we’ve both suffered
and are some how working our way through it.
To understanding that yes we may get hurt,
but some things are worth the risk.
To understanding the thoughts in your head
so that the thoughts in mine aren’t confused.
-Natasha J. Shotwell
2211
11-26-07
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