So after spending the last 3 days with my sons kindergarten class, I've come to realize any thoughts I had at becoming a kindergarten teacher isn't going to happen. OMG! I've come to the conclusion that elementary teachers, specially the kindergarten ones, are my hero's. To do what they do and still be sane is beyond me. I would probably beat one of the children in the class. My son knows better, yes he has his days, but most of his days are good. If my son did what some of the other children do, I would beat the crap out of him.
I have decided that I would like to get my degree in history with a minor in writing or journalism. I know spell check would be my best friend. But I love history. I would love to teach it. Be one of those teachers that make children(teens) enjoy history. I had a great history teacher. She was awesome and she made it fun.
The writing/journalism would be to help my writing along. Well I'm not gonna babel much tonight. Peace!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Blessed in Life
So I'm sitting here on a Saturday night and Kelsea (my 16 yr old) is sitting next to me on the laptop watching NCIS (the one where Zeva kills Ari), Ethan (my 6 yr old) and Erica (my might as well be mine 16 yr old) is in the Dungeon playing Mario. I think to myself, "When did this become my life?" I'm not complaining in the least, I am the happiest I've ever been. Don't get me wrong, I do get the baby blues occasionally but otherwise I Love the way my life is going. I have the worlds best husband (I know he's not yet, but he might as well be), I have the best parents anyone could ask for (they are our best friends), I have wonderful children (there are technically 6 of them now. Carolyn, Jackie, Kelsea, Erica, Ethan and Mack), Plus I have some great friends. There is a roof over our head and food in our belly's. Seriously what more can you ask for. It would be nice to have more money, a bigger house, a van instead of my cruiser (more room). But really there isn't a major need for any of those.
Hopefully I'll be able to post some stories and poems here soon. I'm working on a couple of things and I'll want your honest opinions. Though I'm not sure how many people actually read this, because besides my mother I've gotten no feed back and that was to tell me I had a grammar error in one of my poems. :D
Where will life take me next I don't know, but I know I'm ready for the ride.
Hopefully I'll be able to post some stories and poems here soon. I'm working on a couple of things and I'll want your honest opinions. Though I'm not sure how many people actually read this, because besides my mother I've gotten no feed back and that was to tell me I had a grammar error in one of my poems. :D
Where will life take me next I don't know, but I know I'm ready for the ride.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Children given back
Okay, so Ethan decided he wanted to give back to the people who "helped his baby brother" and to his community. So I talked to Ethan's Principle Mrs. June and she likes the idea about a Penny War. Now for those of you who don't know what a Penny War is: Each class collects Pennys and which ever class has the most pennys after the allotted time wins. Now say this "war" lasts a week, on Tuesday the kids bring in silver and try and put them in the buckets of other classes. Silver is counted against them. So if 1st grade had 400 pennys at the start of Tuesday and at the end of the day they have another 300 pennys but they have 4 quarters in their bucket, they are only counted for 200 pennys. So, All the money collected during this will go to The Children's Hospital. That is my son for you.
Now we had already decided we were going to do 5 community service, volunteering, things this summer. Do you know how hard it is to find something for a 6 yr old to volunteer for. The United Way said he was too young, The Children's Hospital says he's too young to do anything other than cards and goody bags. Miracle Camp says they use only adult volunteers. I'm still waiting for Make a Wish Foundation to call me back. UGH!
I am thinking that people don't realize that if we teach our children young to give back, than they'll always do what they can. If you wait until they are a teenager than they are less likely to do volunteer work. I want both my sons to understand that there are places we can help right here in the USA! I understand some of these 3rd world countries are worse off than us, but if we keep sending all our resources and funds to help them, who is gonna help us when we really need it? Not the people we've been helping. There are homeless people here in the US. There are children here in the US that need adopting. There are areas here in the US that need our help. Crap, I got on my soapbox. I'm sorry.
If anyone knows some places that a 6 yr old can volunteer his time (specially if it helps children) please let me know.
Thanks.
Now we had already decided we were going to do 5 community service, volunteering, things this summer. Do you know how hard it is to find something for a 6 yr old to volunteer for. The United Way said he was too young, The Children's Hospital says he's too young to do anything other than cards and goody bags. Miracle Camp says they use only adult volunteers. I'm still waiting for Make a Wish Foundation to call me back. UGH!
I am thinking that people don't realize that if we teach our children young to give back, than they'll always do what they can. If you wait until they are a teenager than they are less likely to do volunteer work. I want both my sons to understand that there are places we can help right here in the USA! I understand some of these 3rd world countries are worse off than us, but if we keep sending all our resources and funds to help them, who is gonna help us when we really need it? Not the people we've been helping. There are homeless people here in the US. There are children here in the US that need adopting. There are areas here in the US that need our help. Crap, I got on my soapbox. I'm sorry.
If anyone knows some places that a 6 yr old can volunteer his time (specially if it helps children) please let me know.
Thanks.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Life
So the other day I was sitting there and realized that I have turned 30 and accomplished nothing that I set out to accomplish when I was younger. Now don't get me wrong I have two beautiful children, a wonderful man, a great set of friends and the best parents anyone could ask for. But what happened to all my dreams? When did I stop believing in what I wanted to do. I really couldn't tell you. I know it's been at least 8 or 9 years since I've tried to do anything. Besides turning 30 I think part of my melancholy is the baby blues. It's easier to upset me lately, and I cry at the drop of a hat. UGH! Seriously I cried during a Hal mark commerical. I'm a dork!
So I've decided to get my life back together. Thankfully I have wonderful people behind me. I'm gonna go back to school and I'm gonna go back for history with a minor in either writing or journalism. I'm gonna start writing again. Well I already have. I actually wrote a new poem the other day. I'm gonna go through all my half started stories and either finish them, combine them or throw them away and start anew. But I am going to write 3 times a week at least. Daniel bought me a new journal so I can carry it with me at all times. That way if something comes to me I can write it down. :D
Ethan graduates Kindergarten Next week. It's so hard to believe that he's six let along gonna be in 1st grade next year. A 6 yr old and a 6 wk old. Oh my! Ethan asked me if I was gonna give him a baby sister the other day. I just laughed. Told him he has 4 older sisters he has no need for a baby sister. His reply to this, "I can't protect my bigger sisters, but a baby sister. Mack and I will watch out for her." It was the cutest thing I think I've ever heard. Highly doubtful that it will happen, but still.
I have this wonderful guy in my life, that I will one day marry. Though that is just a formality. We already call each other husband and wife. I don't know what I would do without Daniel. He is my strength and my light. He is doing everything he can to provide for our family. Even working two jobs and having almost no time to himself. I thank God every day for such a wonderful, thoughtful, caring, generous man.
I have two awesome freaking parents. I don't know what I would do without them. No matter what they've always ha my back and they're always helped me when I need it. Yes my mother and I have our issues, but what mother/daughter doesn't. As I get older I realize alot of our issues are because we are alot alike. I want to thank them for being who they are and teaching me to be me and if people don't like it, it's there lose.
I have a great set of friends. People who I couldn't have gotten through the last 2 months without. So thank you! You know who you are. I have to give Sharra and Matt a special thank you. Matt without you letting me steal your wife when I needed her, and taking over her duties at the office so she could be at the hospital with me I think I might have gone a little crazy. Shar we've had our ups and downs, but through it all we've always had each others backs. I love you and am very grateful that I have you in my life. Even with all the crap we've gone through to make it to this day. :D
I think I've babbled enough for one day. I ask that if you have a moment to take the time to read over my poems and any stories I may post. Feed back, either good or bad is always welcome. It is your opinion and I respect that even if you don't like what I write. No I may not keep it posted for everyone to see if it's negative....LOL! Just kidding.
Thank you everyone!
So I've decided to get my life back together. Thankfully I have wonderful people behind me. I'm gonna go back to school and I'm gonna go back for history with a minor in either writing or journalism. I'm gonna start writing again. Well I already have. I actually wrote a new poem the other day. I'm gonna go through all my half started stories and either finish them, combine them or throw them away and start anew. But I am going to write 3 times a week at least. Daniel bought me a new journal so I can carry it with me at all times. That way if something comes to me I can write it down. :D
Ethan graduates Kindergarten Next week. It's so hard to believe that he's six let along gonna be in 1st grade next year. A 6 yr old and a 6 wk old. Oh my! Ethan asked me if I was gonna give him a baby sister the other day. I just laughed. Told him he has 4 older sisters he has no need for a baby sister. His reply to this, "I can't protect my bigger sisters, but a baby sister. Mack and I will watch out for her." It was the cutest thing I think I've ever heard. Highly doubtful that it will happen, but still.
I have this wonderful guy in my life, that I will one day marry. Though that is just a formality. We already call each other husband and wife. I don't know what I would do without Daniel. He is my strength and my light. He is doing everything he can to provide for our family. Even working two jobs and having almost no time to himself. I thank God every day for such a wonderful, thoughtful, caring, generous man.
I have two awesome freaking parents. I don't know what I would do without them. No matter what they've always ha my back and they're always helped me when I need it. Yes my mother and I have our issues, but what mother/daughter doesn't. As I get older I realize alot of our issues are because we are alot alike. I want to thank them for being who they are and teaching me to be me and if people don't like it, it's there lose.
I have a great set of friends. People who I couldn't have gotten through the last 2 months without. So thank you! You know who you are. I have to give Sharra and Matt a special thank you. Matt without you letting me steal your wife when I needed her, and taking over her duties at the office so she could be at the hospital with me I think I might have gone a little crazy. Shar we've had our ups and downs, but through it all we've always had each others backs. I love you and am very grateful that I have you in my life. Even with all the crap we've gone through to make it to this day. :D
I think I've babbled enough for one day. I ask that if you have a moment to take the time to read over my poems and any stories I may post. Feed back, either good or bad is always welcome. It is your opinion and I respect that even if you don't like what I write. No I may not keep it posted for everyone to see if it's negative....LOL! Just kidding.
Thank you everyone!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Forever Shut
Two clouds pass each other through the light
as two friends drift in different directions.
The thread holding together their bond
slowly unravels in the evening mist.
Their souls that were so intertwined
struggle to break free of the unity they had.
A troubled butterfly flutters across the dewy meadow
while the lonely caterpillar strives to finish it's cocoon.
A single tear slides down my face
as you walk away from the dream I call friendship.
My heart skips a beat and my soul shatters
as I realize that our souls are no longer connected.
The morning sun rises for the new day
as the moon says if farewells to the darkness of night.
I greet the dawn with fear and anxiety
as I await for the blood to flow freely.
Than my eyes glaze over
and remain forever shut.
NJShotwell
03-05-07
as two friends drift in different directions.
The thread holding together their bond
slowly unravels in the evening mist.
Their souls that were so intertwined
struggle to break free of the unity they had.
A troubled butterfly flutters across the dewy meadow
while the lonely caterpillar strives to finish it's cocoon.
A single tear slides down my face
as you walk away from the dream I call friendship.
My heart skips a beat and my soul shatters
as I realize that our souls are no longer connected.
The morning sun rises for the new day
as the moon says if farewells to the darkness of night.
I greet the dawn with fear and anxiety
as I await for the blood to flow freely.
Than my eyes glaze over
and remain forever shut.
NJShotwell
03-05-07
Friday, May 7, 2010
Unbroken
Sad unsure feelings of what will come
when the corner of time passes.
Dancing softly with hopeful dreams
on stars of untold peace.
Wondering gently about the hour glass
as the sands of time drain away.
Deep thoughts of mirror faces,
angel wings pass through spaces.
Once upon a time once was,
and goblins were the kings that once did rule.
Standing before the passing of light
all that matters have no strife.
For I have stopped to exist
in my unbroken realms mind.
when the corner of time passes.
Dancing softly with hopeful dreams
on stars of untold peace.
Wondering gently about the hour glass
as the sands of time drain away.
Deep thoughts of mirror faces,
angel wings pass through spaces.
Once upon a time once was,
and goblins were the kings that once did rule.
Standing before the passing of light
all that matters have no strife.
For I have stopped to exist
in my unbroken realms mind.
Tear Drop
In a Hallway made of glass
my foot falls echo deep.
The imprints of memories past
dance with partners made of shadows.
Jogging past mirrored walls
my heart treads loudly against my breast.
The nightmare that plagues my sleep
now haunts my waking state.
My hands shake, sweat pours down my face,
my eyes sting and salt I do taste.
Glass shatters memories retreat, heart slows down
and i am nothing but a tear drop running down my loved ones face.
NJShotwell
10-9-06
my foot falls echo deep.
The imprints of memories past
dance with partners made of shadows.
Jogging past mirrored walls
my heart treads loudly against my breast.
The nightmare that plagues my sleep
now haunts my waking state.
My hands shake, sweat pours down my face,
my eyes sting and salt I do taste.
Glass shatters memories retreat, heart slows down
and i am nothing but a tear drop running down my loved ones face.
NJShotwell
10-9-06
Rambled Thoughts
From around the dark edge of the abyss
stands a legion of hungry demonic beings.
These beings are so nasty, vile and grotesque
that their battle cry causes your whole body to freeze.
The blood cursing through their veins
calls for the feel of their enemies brutal death.
This violent death give them an elated feeling
that rushes through their bodies and out into the night.
A night so still, so dark, so bleak
that it shrouds the light and holds it tight.
It holds it tightly as to secure the veil of evil
so that the demonic beings can devour the souls of the light.
N J Shotwelll
5-7-10
1122am
stands a legion of hungry demonic beings.
These beings are so nasty, vile and grotesque
that their battle cry causes your whole body to freeze.
The blood cursing through their veins
calls for the feel of their enemies brutal death.
This violent death give them an elated feeling
that rushes through their bodies and out into the night.
A night so still, so dark, so bleak
that it shrouds the light and holds it tight.
It holds it tightly as to secure the veil of evil
so that the demonic beings can devour the souls of the light.
N J Shotwelll
5-7-10
1122am
I love you
When was the last time
someone said I love you?
Said those three special words, that you knew
without a doubt that they ment every word.
They ment it in a way that you knew
it came from the bottom of thier soul.
A soul that holds unto that love,
never letting anyone pushit off course.
It stays on course bringing such love and happiness
that it makes your whole being burst into smiles.
A smile that comes from your heart,through your lips
and up to the windows of your eyes.
Eyes that look upon the one holding your heart,
the one who says I love you too!
Natasha Shotwell
10-3-06 (revised 5-7-10)
someone said I love you?
Said those three special words, that you knew
without a doubt that they ment every word.
They ment it in a way that you knew
it came from the bottom of thier soul.
A soul that holds unto that love,
never letting anyone pushit off course.
It stays on course bringing such love and happiness
that it makes your whole being burst into smiles.
A smile that comes from your heart,through your lips
and up to the windows of your eyes.
Eyes that look upon the one holding your heart,
the one who says I love you too!
Natasha Shotwell
10-3-06 (revised 5-7-10)
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