Now I know how much every "LOVES" shopping for Thanksgiving Dinner. Well hopefully I'll have made it a little easier for those who haven't gotten their supplies yet. I'm going to list alot (not all) of the things we eat at Thanksgiving. I do NOT have Turkey's or Hams in this list. Sorry. I'll put the Best Deal in Bold/Italics.
Ocean Spray Cranberry Sauce:
Target: $.88
Family Dollar: $1.25
Publix: $.89
Wal*Mart: $.98
CVS: $.88
Foodworld: $1.00
Cream of Mushroom Soup
Target: $.50
Family Dollar: $.75
CVS: 5/$4.00 ($.80 a piece)
Foodworld: $.88
Win Dixie: $1.67 BOGO ($.83 a piece)
Wal*Mart 4pk $2.50
Assorted Del Monte Canned Veggies
Target: $.45
Family Dollar: $.75
Publix: $1.33 BOGO ($.66 a piece)
Foodworld: 3/$2.00 ($.67 a piece)
Win Dixie: $1.69 BOGO ($.85 a piece)
Barnes: 2/$1.00
Wal*Mart 4pk Green Giant $2.00 (no listing for Del Monte in the Walmart Ad)
French's French Fried Onions (6oz)
Target: $2.79
Wal*Mart: $2.98
Barnes: 2/$6.00 ($3.00 a piece)
Now CVS has the 2.8 oz for $.99
Stove Top Stuffing
Target: $.79 if you only need 1 box
Family Dollar: $1.25
Dollar General: $1.25
CVS: $.88
Win Dixie: $2.24 BOGO ($1.12 a piece)
Barnes: 4/$5.00 ($1.25 a piece)
Wal*Mart: $1.50 (2pk)if you need more than 1 box
Libby's Pure Pumpkin
Target: $1.29
CVS: $1.29
Wal*Mart: $1.50
Foodworld: $1.59
Swanson Broth
Target: $.50
CVS: $.50
Wal*Mart: $.50
Publix: $1.13 BOGO ($.56 a piece)
Foodworld: $.69
Win Dixie: $1.67 BOGO ($.83 a piece)
Barnes: 4/$3.00 ($1.50 a piece)
Betty Crocker Assorted Potato's
Target: $.79 if you only need one box
Publix: $1.85 BOGO ($.92 a piece)
CVS: $.99
Win Dixie: $1.99 BOGO ($.98 a piece)
Wal*Mart: $1.50 2pk ($.75 a pk) if you need more than one box
Heinz Jar Gravy
Target: $.79
Publix: $.99
Wal*Mart: $.98
CVS: $.88
Foodworld: 10/$10.00 ($1.00 a piece)
Win Dixie: 10/$10.00 ($1.00 a piece)
Barnes: $.99
Carnation Evap Milk
Target: $.89
Wal*Mart: $.94
K*Mart: $.99
Win Dixie: 10/$10.00 ($1.00 a piece)
Kraft 6 to 8oz Shredded of block cheese
Target: $1.80
Publix: 2/$4.00 ($2.00 a piece)
Foodworld: 3/$5.00 ($1.67 a piece)
Barnes: 2/$4.00 ($2.00 a piece)
Wal*Mart: $2.00 only shredded
Both Publix & Wal*Mart had Jimmy Dean Sausage Roll for $2.50
Breakstone's Sour Cream
Publix: 2/$2.00 ($1.00 a piece)
Win Dixie: 10/$10.00 ($1.00 a piece)
Daisy Sour Cream is $1.58 @ Wal*Mart
Philly Cream Cheese
Publix: 4/$5.00 ($1.25 a piece)
Wal*Mart: $1.98
Win Dixie: 4/$5.00 ($1.25 a piece)
Barns: 4/$5.00 ($1.25 a piece)
Foodworld: 10/$10.00 ($1.00 a piece)
Land O Lakes Butter was 2/$5.00 ($2.50 a piece) @ Publix, Foodworld & Barnes
Great Value @ Wal*Mart $2.38
Cool Whip
Publix: $2.03BOGO ($1.01 a piece)
Foodworld: 4/$5.00 ($1.25 a piece)
Barnes: $.99
Publix has Mrs. Smith/Marie/Edwards Pie's 2/$10.00 ($5.00 a piece)
Foodworld has Mrs. Smith $6.49 BOGO & Edwards $7.99 BOGO
Win Dixie has Edwards $8.99 BOGO
Barnes has Mrs. Smith 2/$7.00 ($3.50 a piece)
Now Wal*Mart and Publix has their Pumpkin Pies for $3.00
Sweet Potatoe's per lb.
Publix: $.39
Foodworld: $.39
Wal*Mart: $.28
Publix and Win Dixie have 5 lbs. bags of Idaho Potato's for $1.99
Barnes has 4 lbs. bags of Idaho Potato's for 2/$3.00 ($1.50 a piece)
Crescent Rolls
Food World: 2/$4.00 ($2.00 a piece)
Win Dixie: 3/$5.00 ($1.67 a piece)
Wal*Mart: $1.58
Gold Medal Flour Mix
CVS: $1.99
Target: $1.50
Wal*Mart: $1.50
Pure Wesson Veggie Oil
Target: $2.00
CVS: $2.99
K*Mart: $1.88
Win Dixie: $3.99 BOGO ($1.98 a piece)
Wal*Mart has Crisco Veggie Oil $2.50
Some NON Thanksgiving savings:
Charmin Basic toilet paper 12 roll Big Squeeze @ Family Dollar is $5.00
Charmin Ultra Strong 6Dbl Roll @ Family Dollar $4.00
Glad Assorted Trash Bags @ Dollar General $5.00
The Best Deal I've seen on Glade(frangence) products is Target. They have the:
4 oz Candle
9.7 oz Aerosol
Oil Candle tin
4-pk refill
1-ct PlugIns Oil refill
They are $2.50 a piece right now and if you cut the coupons out of last Sunday's paper you'll have all the $1.00 off 2 coupons. The cool thing is when you buy 5 Holiday Air Care items you get a $5.00 gift card.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
2 in one day, but not another Soapbox
So not on my Soapbox any more but I do need to say some thank you's. I think I'm gonna take from Sharra's Blog and Start a Flip off Friday blog. But I think I'm also gonna do a Thank you Tuesdays. :D
Thank you's:
Sharra Lynn & Leslie Anne: thank you for watching Peanut on Saturday nights so I can bowl and for using your cars to get me to bowling.
My parents for always being there and never letting me forget who I am.
Terrie and Daniel for watching Ethan when I needed a break.
Daniel for loving me no matter whatand for loving my son and calling him his own. For working the way he does to provide for his family. For bringing the girls into my life. I love you guys!
Ethan for being the best little boy and big brother that a kid can be.
To old friendships renewed and to new friendships found.
Thank you's:
Sharra Lynn & Leslie Anne: thank you for watching Peanut on Saturday nights so I can bowl and for using your cars to get me to bowling.
My parents for always being there and never letting me forget who I am.
Terrie and Daniel for watching Ethan when I needed a break.
Daniel for loving me no matter whatand for loving my son and calling him his own. For working the way he does to provide for his family. For bringing the girls into my life. I love you guys!
Ethan for being the best little boy and big brother that a kid can be.
To old friendships renewed and to new friendships found.
Today's Soapbox
So before you read any further… please understand that this is MY BLOG and I can say whatever I want. I will probably offend people with this and I will not apologize for it. These are my opinions and we live in the Good USA where I have the right to express my opinion. :D I will be soap boxing quite a few different subjects and Unfortunately I will probably bounce between subjects. I will try to keep them separate, but some will cross each other.
I heard something today that just made me upset (no I wont be telling about that) and I’m going to get on my Soap Box!! So here it goes:
1. Adoption
A) Why is it that we as American’s go to other Countries to adopt children? There are MILLIONS of children here in the USA that need loving families. I mean Seriously people. Wake up! I get that there are children over seas that need homes too, but HELLO there are children here.
B) Why is it people also only want BABIES? There are other children that need homes too. Little kids that grow up thinking “no one wants me” because they aren’t a baby.
What as American’s are we thinking? Is it cheaper to adopt outside of the USA? If that’s the case than maybe the government needs to think about that. Here we are bringing in more people into an already populated country when we have some many here that we could be giving homes.
2. Immigration / Immigrant
A) Okay I understand that everyone wants to come to the US because we are such a great country. BUT you need to do it correctly and the Government needs to take a firmer hand in this. If you did not come in correctly than boot their asses back to where they came from. If they come into the ER and are hurt, treat them and call whoever it is they need to call to have them deported. I’m sorry it’s harsh, but we need to do something.
- They are here and they aren’t paying taxes yet they can get Medicaid and food stamps (that will be addressed shortly)
B) WE ARE IN AMERICA!!! LEARN ENGLISH. I know again you’re being so harsh. BULL CRAP! The simple fact that I have to push 1 for English tells me that we as American’s are toooo much trying not to offended other people. THEY SHOULD have to push 1 for whatever language. I mean come on people!!!! Who cares if we offended someone who comes into AMERICA and refuses to learn it’s language.
C) There should be a list of things that immigrants need to learn before being allowed to be here.
- English
- Our laws
3. Food stamps
A) If you are on them they should drug test you. I think randomly once a month you have to be tested for drugs.
B) I HATE people (mostly women) who buy 10.00 with their food stamps (junk food) and than pull out a WAD (yes I said WAD) of money from their brand new jeans with the freshly done nails to pay for their cigarettes & beer. Than they walk out and get into a brand new car that has rims on it that are worth more than my car. Or they have enough “Bling” on them that if they sold it I could probably pay my car off and buy another one.
C) People (mostly single women) who continue to have children and live off the system. (this is a two part one.. Both here in my food stamp rant and again later one)
4. People who abuse the system
A) If you can’t afford the child than prevent from having them. People can have a pregnancy that is an accident once some even twice (Specially if they are years apart) I get that. But if you are 25 and have 7 children with more than 5 dads, learn to CLOSE YOUR LEGS! MY GOD!
- Now if you can afford children than hey.. More power to you. (Look at the family on tv 19 and counting.)
- If it goes against your religion to use birth control than don’t ask the STATE for help.
I’m not sorry if I seem like a B*tch, but I’m tired of paying for other people to have children just to live off the state.
5. Public Restrooms
This has got to be my biggest pet peeve.
A) DO NOT PEE on the seat and leave it for the next person to clean it up. HELLO… Can you say “germs are us” and massively disgusting.
B) If you feel the need to use the bathroom and you are one of these people than use the tissue for the seat most places provide or use Toilet paper and cover the seats and seat down on them.
C) Also women… Please FLUSH THE TOLIET! I don’t wanna know it’s your time of the month because you are afraid of touching the handle.
Last but not least the two that will PISS people off
7. If you are AMERICAN than you are an AMERICAN
I do not care if you are BLACK, WHITE, MEXICAN, OR ASIAN if you are a citizen of the USA than you are an AMERICAN, not a Mexican American, a Asian American or an African American. The only people that can claim that they are “Something” American would be the Indian’s, because they were here first. Even if you moved here and are now a citizen, you are an AMERICAN. Your heritage is Asian, Mexican, Korean, African or whatever. I don’t say that I am European American so why does that give everyone else the right to say that they are “Whatever” American. Love your heritage, but be an AMERICAN. Until we can lose all these titles that go with American we’ll never be one country.
8. We live in the land of Religious Tolerance…
A) That does not give you the right to shove your religion down my throat.
B) Just because you think your religion is the “TRUE RELIGION” does not give you the right to slam any other religion. Yes I understand you want them to come to “Your” religion but they believe just as much as you do if not more that their religion is the “TRUE RELIGION”
C) Why is it you can’t listen to your music loudly in your own car, but they have preachers, ministers, and church people screaming on the corners. Why do they get to disturb my peace but I can’t listen to my music as loud as I want it.
Okay my rant is done. If you are still reading this than thank you for reading my rant. I hope maybe I’ve given you something to think about.
I heard something today that just made me upset (no I wont be telling about that) and I’m going to get on my Soap Box!! So here it goes:
1. Adoption
A) Why is it that we as American’s go to other Countries to adopt children? There are MILLIONS of children here in the USA that need loving families. I mean Seriously people. Wake up! I get that there are children over seas that need homes too, but HELLO there are children here.
B) Why is it people also only want BABIES? There are other children that need homes too. Little kids that grow up thinking “no one wants me” because they aren’t a baby.
What as American’s are we thinking? Is it cheaper to adopt outside of the USA? If that’s the case than maybe the government needs to think about that. Here we are bringing in more people into an already populated country when we have some many here that we could be giving homes.
2. Immigration / Immigrant
A) Okay I understand that everyone wants to come to the US because we are such a great country. BUT you need to do it correctly and the Government needs to take a firmer hand in this. If you did not come in correctly than boot their asses back to where they came from. If they come into the ER and are hurt, treat them and call whoever it is they need to call to have them deported. I’m sorry it’s harsh, but we need to do something.
- They are here and they aren’t paying taxes yet they can get Medicaid and food stamps (that will be addressed shortly)
B) WE ARE IN AMERICA!!! LEARN ENGLISH. I know again you’re being so harsh. BULL CRAP! The simple fact that I have to push 1 for English tells me that we as American’s are toooo much trying not to offended other people. THEY SHOULD have to push 1 for whatever language. I mean come on people!!!! Who cares if we offended someone who comes into AMERICA and refuses to learn it’s language.
C) There should be a list of things that immigrants need to learn before being allowed to be here.
- English
- Our laws
3. Food stamps
A) If you are on them they should drug test you. I think randomly once a month you have to be tested for drugs.
B) I HATE people (mostly women) who buy 10.00 with their food stamps (junk food) and than pull out a WAD (yes I said WAD) of money from their brand new jeans with the freshly done nails to pay for their cigarettes & beer. Than they walk out and get into a brand new car that has rims on it that are worth more than my car. Or they have enough “Bling” on them that if they sold it I could probably pay my car off and buy another one.
C) People (mostly single women) who continue to have children and live off the system. (this is a two part one.. Both here in my food stamp rant and again later one)
4. People who abuse the system
A) If you can’t afford the child than prevent from having them. People can have a pregnancy that is an accident once some even twice (Specially if they are years apart) I get that. But if you are 25 and have 7 children with more than 5 dads, learn to CLOSE YOUR LEGS! MY GOD!
- Now if you can afford children than hey.. More power to you. (Look at the family on tv 19 and counting.)
- If it goes against your religion to use birth control than don’t ask the STATE for help.
I’m not sorry if I seem like a B*tch, but I’m tired of paying for other people to have children just to live off the state.
5. Public Restrooms
This has got to be my biggest pet peeve.
A) DO NOT PEE on the seat and leave it for the next person to clean it up. HELLO… Can you say “germs are us” and massively disgusting.
B) If you feel the need to use the bathroom and you are one of these people than use the tissue for the seat most places provide or use Toilet paper and cover the seats and seat down on them.
C) Also women… Please FLUSH THE TOLIET! I don’t wanna know it’s your time of the month because you are afraid of touching the handle.
Last but not least the two that will PISS people off
7. If you are AMERICAN than you are an AMERICAN
I do not care if you are BLACK, WHITE, MEXICAN, OR ASIAN if you are a citizen of the USA than you are an AMERICAN, not a Mexican American, a Asian American or an African American. The only people that can claim that they are “Something” American would be the Indian’s, because they were here first. Even if you moved here and are now a citizen, you are an AMERICAN. Your heritage is Asian, Mexican, Korean, African or whatever. I don’t say that I am European American so why does that give everyone else the right to say that they are “Whatever” American. Love your heritage, but be an AMERICAN. Until we can lose all these titles that go with American we’ll never be one country.
8. We live in the land of Religious Tolerance…
A) That does not give you the right to shove your religion down my throat.
B) Just because you think your religion is the “TRUE RELIGION” does not give you the right to slam any other religion. Yes I understand you want them to come to “Your” religion but they believe just as much as you do if not more that their religion is the “TRUE RELIGION”
C) Why is it you can’t listen to your music loudly in your own car, but they have preachers, ministers, and church people screaming on the corners. Why do they get to disturb my peace but I can’t listen to my music as loud as I want it.
Okay my rant is done. If you are still reading this than thank you for reading my rant. I hope maybe I’ve given you something to think about.
Monday, August 9, 2010
More from the home of SW&E
So I'm sitting here at home chillen with Ethan. I decided this morning that I would start cleaning at 830 every morning and than clean until finished or until 1230pm. Which ever comes first. My house isn't horrible, but it could be alot cleaner. I am seeing that the older I get the more like my mother I am becoming. My house just isn't clean enough of. UGH! So if I do like 4 hours of cleaning every day for a week or two, than after it should only take me an hour a day after that. I've also decided that I'm gonna start doing everyone's laundry on a different day. Like Peanuts on Monday's, Ethan's on Tuesday's, mine on Thursday's and Daniel's on Sunday's.
I have also started to clip cupons and I am watching the ad's before I go shopping for food. I am gonna try and start cooking healthier also. So we are gonna see what all can be done with chicken. Should be intresting.
I attend my first PTO meeting tomorrow. We shall see.
Ethan has a Summer Program on Aug 15th for Summer Camp. It should be intresting. Ethan is to sing. :D
Otherwise life is going good. I'm still unsure of the future, but I am holding to faith that everything will work out how it is supposed to and that we will be okay.
I know it's short and full of nothing, but that's it for today.
I have also started to clip cupons and I am watching the ad's before I go shopping for food. I am gonna try and start cooking healthier also. So we are gonna see what all can be done with chicken. Should be intresting.
I attend my first PTO meeting tomorrow. We shall see.
Ethan has a Summer Program on Aug 15th for Summer Camp. It should be intresting. Ethan is to sing. :D
Otherwise life is going good. I'm still unsure of the future, but I am holding to faith that everything will work out how it is supposed to and that we will be okay.
I know it's short and full of nothing, but that's it for today.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Life in General in the home of Shotwell, Williamson & Estes
So I have realized that I haven't posted a blog update anytime lately. So Mack is getting big and is very healthy. As of July 30, 2010 he weighed in at 16.7 lbs and was 26 inches long. We have started to call him Peanut. It's something my father started and it has kinda stuck. LOL. Daniel is still the love of my life though things are stressful right now. Not necessarily between us, but with everything going on. He is still being the best nonhusband a woman could ask for. He's still working two jobs so we can put food on our table and a roof over our heads. I have to say that I am one very lucky lady to have such a wonderful man in my life. Not only does he do this to provide for us, but he tries to take time to spend a couple of minutes with both boys. Ethan is also doing good. He starts school the 23rd of Aug, but he wont actually be starting on that day. The boys and I are taking a trip to Michigan to see family. I would like to get pictures of the boys with their great grandma Shotwell and than a picture with their great great Grandpa Hanks, Dad, myself and the boys. That's four of the 5 generations.
This year could have been a lot worse than it was, but I do hope that the next year is better than this year.
I have done alot of soul searching over the last couple of months. Mainly starting with Peanut being in the hospital. Anyone who knows me knows that I have had major issues with both religion and church, but I have slowly been working on it. Where I still don't think I'll ever go to church I am coming to terms with GOD. I still do not believe that I have to gather with a group of people to be at peace with GOD. I do not need to read a book that has been handed down like a child's game of telephone and than rewritten by a king to suit his needs. I can still keep my own beliefs and thoughts. No one is perfect and everyone sins. I have made my peace with God and he and I are okay with each other.
Leslie Anne and her family have come home and it's freaking KEWL! I have my big sister home. I have missed her terribly. It will only be for a year, but still. I will make the most of it. So far, her and the family are over here one to two days a week for dinner. Sometimes Leslie Anne makes it, sometimes I do.
I have decided that when I get back from Michigan I am going to seriously start getting my fat ass in shape. I'm not healthy and I want to see both my boys walk across their college graduation stage and walk down the isle if that's what they want. But to do that I have to get healthier. Right now I'm amazed that I don't have diabetes or worse. I have started the process again though. I have cut out caffeine soda since Sunday and only 2 cups of coffee. I also have only had one of those little bags of Oreo's as chocolate. I'm gonna give them up again. I am also gonna start using my gym membership that I'm paying for and not using. :( But I will do it this time and I will keep it off. It will just take hard work and determination.
Besides school, I think I'm gonna follow in my fathers footsteps. Though I am giving myself 2 years to publish a book. By my 32nd Birthday I want to publish one of my books.
Well I guess I have ranted enough for one evening and I am tired. So to all my fellow homo sapiens (those who understand what that word means) have a wonderful night.
This year could have been a lot worse than it was, but I do hope that the next year is better than this year.
I have done alot of soul searching over the last couple of months. Mainly starting with Peanut being in the hospital. Anyone who knows me knows that I have had major issues with both religion and church, but I have slowly been working on it. Where I still don't think I'll ever go to church I am coming to terms with GOD. I still do not believe that I have to gather with a group of people to be at peace with GOD. I do not need to read a book that has been handed down like a child's game of telephone and than rewritten by a king to suit his needs. I can still keep my own beliefs and thoughts. No one is perfect and everyone sins. I have made my peace with God and he and I are okay with each other.
Leslie Anne and her family have come home and it's freaking KEWL! I have my big sister home. I have missed her terribly. It will only be for a year, but still. I will make the most of it. So far, her and the family are over here one to two days a week for dinner. Sometimes Leslie Anne makes it, sometimes I do.
I have decided that when I get back from Michigan I am going to seriously start getting my fat ass in shape. I'm not healthy and I want to see both my boys walk across their college graduation stage and walk down the isle if that's what they want. But to do that I have to get healthier. Right now I'm amazed that I don't have diabetes or worse. I have started the process again though. I have cut out caffeine soda since Sunday and only 2 cups of coffee. I also have only had one of those little bags of Oreo's as chocolate. I'm gonna give them up again. I am also gonna start using my gym membership that I'm paying for and not using. :( But I will do it this time and I will keep it off. It will just take hard work and determination.
Besides school, I think I'm gonna follow in my fathers footsteps. Though I am giving myself 2 years to publish a book. By my 32nd Birthday I want to publish one of my books.
Well I guess I have ranted enough for one evening and I am tired. So to all my fellow homo sapiens (those who understand what that word means) have a wonderful night.
Monday, July 19, 2010
My Gentle Warrior, My One True Love
As I trace your lips with the tip of my tongue,
I get the masculine taste of you
You taste sweet, yet slightly salty,
From the gentle sweat we are working up.
The way my tongue darts in and out of your mouth to caress,
It drives you completely crazy with lustful need.
But, alas my lover, you somehow keep it under control
As you gently grasp my face between your two work worn hands.
With you holding my face ever so gently
You bend down and kiss me ever so sweetly.
You, my gentle warrior, know all the right words
The words that make my heart melt.
Through all of this you tell me you
That you love me and that you will always be there for me.
And this my lover is all I need to hear
As your finger tips slide through my hair.
You my gentle warrior, my one true love are all I’ll ever need.
NJ Shotwell
08-04-1998
2040
Portside Cinema, P’cola FL
Revised 07-19-2010
I get the masculine taste of you
You taste sweet, yet slightly salty,
From the gentle sweat we are working up.
The way my tongue darts in and out of your mouth to caress,
It drives you completely crazy with lustful need.
But, alas my lover, you somehow keep it under control
As you gently grasp my face between your two work worn hands.
With you holding my face ever so gently
You bend down and kiss me ever so sweetly.
You, my gentle warrior, know all the right words
The words that make my heart melt.
Through all of this you tell me you
That you love me and that you will always be there for me.
And this my lover is all I need to hear
As your finger tips slide through my hair.
You my gentle warrior, my one true love are all I’ll ever need.
NJ Shotwell
08-04-1998
2040
Portside Cinema, P’cola FL
Revised 07-19-2010
Rainbows, shooting Stars and Birthday Wishes
Rainbows, shooting stars and birthday wishes,
these are all the things you in believe in as a child.
Bills, work and a never ending headache
these are the things you deal with as an adult.
Kick the can, double-dutch and capture the flag
are the games you fondly remember.
Aspirin, ulcers and struggling to make ends meet
are the things you end up with as you grow older.
To be able to just be free and have no restraints,
but than you realize that, that time has pasted.
Rainbows, shooting stars and birthday wishes
don’t you wish you could be young again.
NJ Shotwell
03-05-07
2156
Revised 07-19-10
these are all the things you in believe in as a child.
Bills, work and a never ending headache
these are the things you deal with as an adult.
Kick the can, double-dutch and capture the flag
are the games you fondly remember.
Aspirin, ulcers and struggling to make ends meet
are the things you end up with as you grow older.
To be able to just be free and have no restraints,
but than you realize that, that time has pasted.
Rainbows, shooting stars and birthday wishes
don’t you wish you could be young again.
NJ Shotwell
03-05-07
2156
Revised 07-19-10
Sunday, July 18, 2010
The Prawn
When I look into your eyes
I see hope and unconditional love.
When I hold you close
I feel like there is nothing I can’t do.
When you tell me that you love me
My heart swells and my eyes water.
When you wipe away my tears
I know somehow we’ll always make it.
When I tuck you in at night
I always have to watch your beautiful face as you fall asleep.
When you wake me up the next morning
I am always surprised how your smile makes me feel.
Just know that I love you
And you will always be my “Prawn”.
NJ Shotwell
03-05-2007
Revised 07-18-2010
Twinkle
I sit here looking up at the thousands of stars that twinkle
And all I can think of is you.
I look out at the pool and think of the fun we had
And all the fun we will have in the future.
I miss my babydoll, I miss you
More than I ever thought possible.
I miss the nights when we lay on the couch
And started many, many movies.
I remember the look of hunger in your eyes
When I showed you my presents…. In your favorite color.
I can’t wait to see that look again,
But even with missing you like this I know this is what we need.
This I a test of our relationship
To see how strong we are.
I know we are both very strong
And that we will get through this.
This and any other thing that life throws at us
To try and stop us from loving each other.
I just want you to remember that I love you
And that I will always be here for you no matter what.
-NJ Shotwell
10-09-1998
Revised 07-18-2010
And all I can think of is you.
I look out at the pool and think of the fun we had
And all the fun we will have in the future.
I miss my babydoll, I miss you
More than I ever thought possible.
I miss the nights when we lay on the couch
And started many, many movies.
I remember the look of hunger in your eyes
When I showed you my presents…. In your favorite color.
I can’t wait to see that look again,
But even with missing you like this I know this is what we need.
This I a test of our relationship
To see how strong we are.
I know we are both very strong
And that we will get through this.
This and any other thing that life throws at us
To try and stop us from loving each other.
I just want you to remember that I love you
And that I will always be here for you no matter what.
-NJ Shotwell
10-09-1998
Revised 07-18-2010
Best Friends
You say you are y best friend
But you never listen to me when I need you.
I say lets go do something
But you were always too busy.
Now I am the busy one and
You, my friend, are now the one upset.
I have always been there for you
But you were always with one of them.
I have tried my damnedest to keep
Ur friendship together.
Yet you just keep pushing me
Further and further away.
Then you ask me to do something
And I instantly come to your side.
Than you push me away again,
Like yesterday’s trash.
I don’t know how much more
Of this my heart can take.
Not only am I losing m mind,
But I’m also losing my best friend.
-NJS
03-13-1997
But you never listen to me when I need you.
I say lets go do something
But you were always too busy.
Now I am the busy one and
You, my friend, are now the one upset.
I have always been there for you
But you were always with one of them.
I have tried my damnedest to keep
Ur friendship together.
Yet you just keep pushing me
Further and further away.
Then you ask me to do something
And I instantly come to your side.
Than you push me away again,
Like yesterday’s trash.
I don’t know how much more
Of this my heart can take.
Not only am I losing m mind,
But I’m also losing my best friend.
-NJS
03-13-1997
The Meeting
The first time we met we were in the
hallway and you bumped into my trying to pass.
The nest time was in the lunch line and you
dumped your lunch in my lap because you tripped.
The third time was at our lockers,
for we were right next to each other.
The time at our lockers was when I
lost my heart and it floated your way.
That is a day I’ll never forget
because that’s the day I let my heart slip.
We glanced at each other all day through,
shyly and slowly at first.
Then at last you smiled my way
and brightened my entire day.
On that very same day
you also gave me your heart.
Natasha Joell Shotwell
8th Grade
1993-1994
hallway and you bumped into my trying to pass.
The nest time was in the lunch line and you
dumped your lunch in my lap because you tripped.
The third time was at our lockers,
for we were right next to each other.
The time at our lockers was when I
lost my heart and it floated your way.
That is a day I’ll never forget
because that’s the day I let my heart slip.
We glanced at each other all day through,
shyly and slowly at first.
Then at last you smiled my way
and brightened my entire day.
On that very same day
you also gave me your heart.
Natasha Joell Shotwell
8th Grade
1993-1994
My Heart
The heart is a very special gift to give,
and every time mine beats it beats for you.
Each time you place your hand over my heart,
it beats faster and harder just from your touch.
I would give a million of my heartbeats,
just to feel one of your against my cheek.
You are a deep meaning of my life,
without you my heart feels as if it beats no more.
Natasha Joell Shotwell
1994
revised 01-21-07
and every time mine beats it beats for you.
Each time you place your hand over my heart,
it beats faster and harder just from your touch.
I would give a million of my heartbeats,
just to feel one of your against my cheek.
You are a deep meaning of my life,
without you my heart feels as if it beats no more.
Natasha Joell Shotwell
1994
revised 01-21-07
I Can Still Feel
I can still feel your sweet breath oh so
close to me that I want to cry.
I can still feel your strong embrace
that always kept me safe and warm.
I can still feel the surge of passion flow
through me when our lips met.
I can still feel your gentle hands upon
me when I needed the comfort.
But I will no longer be able to feel all those things,
because you chose to be with her over me.
So now at night when I know the two of you lay in each other’s arms,
I lay alone with only my memories of us to keep me warm.
Natasha J. Shotwell
November 1993
close to me that I want to cry.
I can still feel your strong embrace
that always kept me safe and warm.
I can still feel the surge of passion flow
through me when our lips met.
I can still feel your gentle hands upon
me when I needed the comfort.
But I will no longer be able to feel all those things,
because you chose to be with her over me.
So now at night when I know the two of you lay in each other’s arms,
I lay alone with only my memories of us to keep me warm.
Natasha J. Shotwell
November 1993
First Encounter
When our eyes first meet
I knew you were the one.
My heart, mind and soul screams,
at the smallest hint of your name.
You looked so afraid the first time we talked,
that I wanted to pull you close and keep you safe.
There were so many obstacles
that you and I had to overcome to be together.
But alas, my love, fate had different plans for us
and though we tried we were unable to be one.
Natasha J. Shotwell
October 1994
Revised Jan 21, 2007
I knew you were the one.
My heart, mind and soul screams,
at the smallest hint of your name.
You looked so afraid the first time we talked,
that I wanted to pull you close and keep you safe.
There were so many obstacles
that you and I had to overcome to be together.
But alas, my love, fate had different plans for us
and though we tried we were unable to be one.
Natasha J. Shotwell
October 1994
Revised Jan 21, 2007
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
The Feel of You
Your touch is feather light
as you trace the side of my face.
Your breath so sweet
as you kiss your way up my neck.
Then as you reach my lips
I melt into your warm embrace.
You are the one,
the one my heart beats for.
With just the right touch from you,
and it sets my whole body afire.
So now I ask only one thing,
that you love me the same way I love you.
Natasha J. Shotwell
Oct 1994
Revised Jan 21, 2007
as you trace the side of my face.
Your breath so sweet
as you kiss your way up my neck.
Then as you reach my lips
I melt into your warm embrace.
You are the one,
the one my heart beats for.
With just the right touch from you,
and it sets my whole body afire.
So now I ask only one thing,
that you love me the same way I love you.
Natasha J. Shotwell
Oct 1994
Revised Jan 21, 2007
Mirrored Eyes
Looking into his mirrored eyes
I see myself haunted by the past.
Running a unsteady hand across his cheek
I wonder about what else I may mess up.
Alone, yet not alone
as I sit in the bosom of the family.
How cruel life seems at times,
taking it upon it's self to laugh, cry and through rocks at you.
The hate swelling inside ready to burst
like a untamed volcano.
Never knowing what will happen
and never knowing what to do when it does.
How to explain to a beautiful child
that you destroyed their life before they even had a chance to live.
Than I shake my head and the mirrored eyes are gone
and all I see is my beautiful baby boy.
Natasha J. Shotwell
1011pm
1-31-07
I see myself haunted by the past.
Running a unsteady hand across his cheek
I wonder about what else I may mess up.
Alone, yet not alone
as I sit in the bosom of the family.
How cruel life seems at times,
taking it upon it's self to laugh, cry and through rocks at you.
The hate swelling inside ready to burst
like a untamed volcano.
Never knowing what will happen
and never knowing what to do when it does.
How to explain to a beautiful child
that you destroyed their life before they even had a chance to live.
Than I shake my head and the mirrored eyes are gone
and all I see is my beautiful baby boy.
Natasha J. Shotwell
1011pm
1-31-07
Last Nights Dream
Last Night’s Dream
Last night I dreamed of the two of us
in each others arms holding on tight.
Last night I dreamed of your strong warm
body lying next to mine on a cold winter night.
Last night I dreamed that you were mine
and I was yours for the rest of time.
Last night I swear I could feel your warm
breath on my shoulder as you kissed my neck.
But it was only a dream with you
that I know shall never come true.
Natasha Joell Shotwell
Last night I dreamed of the two of us
in each others arms holding on tight.
Last night I dreamed of your strong warm
body lying next to mine on a cold winter night.
Last night I dreamed that you were mine
and I was yours for the rest of time.
Last night I swear I could feel your warm
breath on my shoulder as you kissed my neck.
But it was only a dream with you
that I know shall never come true.
Natasha Joell Shotwell
Just a Fantasy
Fresh dew drops dance in the morning light,
as I watch the sun caress your sleeping face.
As I lay my head against your chest,
your heart sounds like it’s calling out to me.
Your arm wrapped around my waist,
bringing us together as one soul.
Looking up into your beautiful eyes
I see all the love that you wont admit.
I close my eyes to memorize what I’m seeing
and when I open them I realize it was all just a fantasy.
You are not laying here with me
and you never will.
Natasha j. Shotwell
1043pm
2-1-07
as I watch the sun caress your sleeping face.
As I lay my head against your chest,
your heart sounds like it’s calling out to me.
Your arm wrapped around my waist,
bringing us together as one soul.
Looking up into your beautiful eyes
I see all the love that you wont admit.
I close my eyes to memorize what I’m seeing
and when I open them I realize it was all just a fantasy.
You are not laying here with me
and you never will.
Natasha j. Shotwell
1043pm
2-1-07
Dark & Dangerous
Dark and dangerous thoughts dance across my clutter mind
trying to force their way into my everyday actions.
Looking out into the world through unseening glazed eyes
trouble begins to seep into my pores.
My safe haven, my refuge
now feels like it's been invaded.
Knowing that I may hurt the ones I love
I back away to watch from afar.
I stand there trembling in unknown fear
for I know that eventually they will all melt away.
Every one I thought I could trust and thought I loved
walk towards the fading light of the day.
No one looks back, no one says wait
I stand there and wipe the tear from my eye.
NJS
7-18-07
2239
trying to force their way into my everyday actions.
Looking out into the world through unseening glazed eyes
trouble begins to seep into my pores.
My safe haven, my refuge
now feels like it's been invaded.
Knowing that I may hurt the ones I love
I back away to watch from afar.
I stand there trembling in unknown fear
for I know that eventually they will all melt away.
Every one I thought I could trust and thought I loved
walk towards the fading light of the day.
No one looks back, no one says wait
I stand there and wipe the tear from my eye.
NJS
7-18-07
2239
Simple Caress
The simple caress of a trembling hand,
will wipe the lines from a trouble face.
The soft touch of his lips against hers,
make the dullest of days seem bright.
Her soft small hand sliding into his large work worn one,
gives them both a sense of peace and security.
As they slumber wrapped in each others arms,
they know they are soul mates to last all time.
Natasha J. Shotwell
8:08am
Sept 8, 2007
will wipe the lines from a trouble face.
The soft touch of his lips against hers,
make the dullest of days seem bright.
Her soft small hand sliding into his large work worn one,
gives them both a sense of peace and security.
As they slumber wrapped in each others arms,
they know they are soul mates to last all time.
Natasha J. Shotwell
8:08am
Sept 8, 2007
Started as Friends
We started out as friends
that fatefully night.
We became lovers
by chance.
We've become important
to each other.
We each know that
the others been hurt.
So we each walk
with the softest steps.
Nor you or I want to
frighten the other.
One day we will get past this
and will be able to be what we are ment to be.
Natasha J. Shotwell
that fatefully night.
We became lovers
by chance.
We've become important
to each other.
We each know that
the others been hurt.
So we each walk
with the softest steps.
Nor you or I want to
frighten the other.
One day we will get past this
and will be able to be what we are ment to be.
Natasha J. Shotwell
Angels Wings
Tear drops on the wings of angels,
burn like acid.
Blood splatters across their troubled faces,
haunt memories for all time.
Splinter glass slashes in jagged lines,
to take down their noble stance.
Yet the caress of Human laughter,
heals the Angels wounded wing.
Natasha J. Shotwell
8:20am
9-08-07
burn like acid.
Blood splatters across their troubled faces,
haunt memories for all time.
Splinter glass slashes in jagged lines,
to take down their noble stance.
Yet the caress of Human laughter,
heals the Angels wounded wing.
Natasha J. Shotwell
8:20am
9-08-07
Thankful
Laying wrapped in your arms at night,
I feel secure and safe.
Watching your smile every time he laughs,
makes my heart skip a beat.
Looking into your eyes as you bend to kiss me good bye
I understand what it is to be wanted.
As you tuck him in at night
I see the love he has for you.
I am very thankful for having you in my life,
you make me feel alive again!
NJS
2233
11-26-07
I feel secure and safe.
Watching your smile every time he laughs,
makes my heart skip a beat.
Looking into your eyes as you bend to kiss me good bye
I understand what it is to be wanted.
As you tuck him in at night
I see the love he has for you.
I am very thankful for having you in my life,
you make me feel alive again!
NJS
2233
11-26-07
Shattered Dreams
Shattered dreams on a moonless night
that engulfs my waking peace.
Jagged glass upon my saddened face
like dew drops on a blade of shaven grass.
Unheard screams echoing through out my mind
that no one but me seems to be able to hear.
Reaching out from the inside
just to be pushed away by no one but myself.
Unable to feel you as you touch your lips to mine
because my lips are blue and my heart beats no more.
Natasha j. Shotwell
1056pm
2-1-07
that engulfs my waking peace.
Jagged glass upon my saddened face
like dew drops on a blade of shaven grass.
Unheard screams echoing through out my mind
that no one but me seems to be able to hear.
Reaching out from the inside
just to be pushed away by no one but myself.
Unable to feel you as you touch your lips to mine
because my lips are blue and my heart beats no more.
Natasha j. Shotwell
1056pm
2-1-07
This is my Life
As tear drops splatter to the ground
so does a thousand dreams.
Hopes for what has yet to come
are dashed by the stain of blood.
All the faith inside the cavity of the mind
is erased by the dark abyss of fear.
What was once good is now evil,
what was once light is now dark.
The thread that held them apart
now weaves them closer together.
To hold on to sanity
means to lose reality.
This is my life!
Natasha Shotwell
7-19-07
1939
so does a thousand dreams.
Hopes for what has yet to come
are dashed by the stain of blood.
All the faith inside the cavity of the mind
is erased by the dark abyss of fear.
What was once good is now evil,
what was once light is now dark.
The thread that held them apart
now weaves them closer together.
To hold on to sanity
means to lose reality.
This is my life!
Natasha Shotwell
7-19-07
1939
Never... Understanding
To never understand what it is about me,
that makes you come back to my arms.
To never understand why you chose
to spend time with me instead of with others.
To never understand my own mind enough
to tell you the thousands of things going on in it.
To never understand your mind enough
to know how to answer the unasked questions.
To understanding the hurt we’ve both suffered
and are some how working our way through it.
To understanding that yes we may get hurt,
but some things are worth the risk.
To understanding the thoughts in your head
so that the thoughts in mine aren’t confused.
-Natasha J. Shotwell
2211
11-26-07
that makes you come back to my arms.
To never understand why you chose
to spend time with me instead of with others.
To never understand my own mind enough
to tell you the thousands of things going on in it.
To never understand your mind enough
to know how to answer the unasked questions.
To understanding the hurt we’ve both suffered
and are some how working our way through it.
To understanding that yes we may get hurt,
but some things are worth the risk.
To understanding the thoughts in your head
so that the thoughts in mine aren’t confused.
-Natasha J. Shotwell
2211
11-26-07
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
So not cut out to be a teacher
So after spending the last 3 days with my sons kindergarten class, I've come to realize any thoughts I had at becoming a kindergarten teacher isn't going to happen. OMG! I've come to the conclusion that elementary teachers, specially the kindergarten ones, are my hero's. To do what they do and still be sane is beyond me. I would probably beat one of the children in the class. My son knows better, yes he has his days, but most of his days are good. If my son did what some of the other children do, I would beat the crap out of him.
I have decided that I would like to get my degree in history with a minor in writing or journalism. I know spell check would be my best friend. But I love history. I would love to teach it. Be one of those teachers that make children(teens) enjoy history. I had a great history teacher. She was awesome and she made it fun.
The writing/journalism would be to help my writing along. Well I'm not gonna babel much tonight. Peace!
I have decided that I would like to get my degree in history with a minor in writing or journalism. I know spell check would be my best friend. But I love history. I would love to teach it. Be one of those teachers that make children(teens) enjoy history. I had a great history teacher. She was awesome and she made it fun.
The writing/journalism would be to help my writing along. Well I'm not gonna babel much tonight. Peace!
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Blessed in Life
So I'm sitting here on a Saturday night and Kelsea (my 16 yr old) is sitting next to me on the laptop watching NCIS (the one where Zeva kills Ari), Ethan (my 6 yr old) and Erica (my might as well be mine 16 yr old) is in the Dungeon playing Mario. I think to myself, "When did this become my life?" I'm not complaining in the least, I am the happiest I've ever been. Don't get me wrong, I do get the baby blues occasionally but otherwise I Love the way my life is going. I have the worlds best husband (I know he's not yet, but he might as well be), I have the best parents anyone could ask for (they are our best friends), I have wonderful children (there are technically 6 of them now. Carolyn, Jackie, Kelsea, Erica, Ethan and Mack), Plus I have some great friends. There is a roof over our head and food in our belly's. Seriously what more can you ask for. It would be nice to have more money, a bigger house, a van instead of my cruiser (more room). But really there isn't a major need for any of those.
Hopefully I'll be able to post some stories and poems here soon. I'm working on a couple of things and I'll want your honest opinions. Though I'm not sure how many people actually read this, because besides my mother I've gotten no feed back and that was to tell me I had a grammar error in one of my poems. :D
Where will life take me next I don't know, but I know I'm ready for the ride.
Hopefully I'll be able to post some stories and poems here soon. I'm working on a couple of things and I'll want your honest opinions. Though I'm not sure how many people actually read this, because besides my mother I've gotten no feed back and that was to tell me I had a grammar error in one of my poems. :D
Where will life take me next I don't know, but I know I'm ready for the ride.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Children given back
Okay, so Ethan decided he wanted to give back to the people who "helped his baby brother" and to his community. So I talked to Ethan's Principle Mrs. June and she likes the idea about a Penny War. Now for those of you who don't know what a Penny War is: Each class collects Pennys and which ever class has the most pennys after the allotted time wins. Now say this "war" lasts a week, on Tuesday the kids bring in silver and try and put them in the buckets of other classes. Silver is counted against them. So if 1st grade had 400 pennys at the start of Tuesday and at the end of the day they have another 300 pennys but they have 4 quarters in their bucket, they are only counted for 200 pennys. So, All the money collected during this will go to The Children's Hospital. That is my son for you.
Now we had already decided we were going to do 5 community service, volunteering, things this summer. Do you know how hard it is to find something for a 6 yr old to volunteer for. The United Way said he was too young, The Children's Hospital says he's too young to do anything other than cards and goody bags. Miracle Camp says they use only adult volunteers. I'm still waiting for Make a Wish Foundation to call me back. UGH!
I am thinking that people don't realize that if we teach our children young to give back, than they'll always do what they can. If you wait until they are a teenager than they are less likely to do volunteer work. I want both my sons to understand that there are places we can help right here in the USA! I understand some of these 3rd world countries are worse off than us, but if we keep sending all our resources and funds to help them, who is gonna help us when we really need it? Not the people we've been helping. There are homeless people here in the US. There are children here in the US that need adopting. There are areas here in the US that need our help. Crap, I got on my soapbox. I'm sorry.
If anyone knows some places that a 6 yr old can volunteer his time (specially if it helps children) please let me know.
Thanks.
Now we had already decided we were going to do 5 community service, volunteering, things this summer. Do you know how hard it is to find something for a 6 yr old to volunteer for. The United Way said he was too young, The Children's Hospital says he's too young to do anything other than cards and goody bags. Miracle Camp says they use only adult volunteers. I'm still waiting for Make a Wish Foundation to call me back. UGH!
I am thinking that people don't realize that if we teach our children young to give back, than they'll always do what they can. If you wait until they are a teenager than they are less likely to do volunteer work. I want both my sons to understand that there are places we can help right here in the USA! I understand some of these 3rd world countries are worse off than us, but if we keep sending all our resources and funds to help them, who is gonna help us when we really need it? Not the people we've been helping. There are homeless people here in the US. There are children here in the US that need adopting. There are areas here in the US that need our help. Crap, I got on my soapbox. I'm sorry.
If anyone knows some places that a 6 yr old can volunteer his time (specially if it helps children) please let me know.
Thanks.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Life
So the other day I was sitting there and realized that I have turned 30 and accomplished nothing that I set out to accomplish when I was younger. Now don't get me wrong I have two beautiful children, a wonderful man, a great set of friends and the best parents anyone could ask for. But what happened to all my dreams? When did I stop believing in what I wanted to do. I really couldn't tell you. I know it's been at least 8 or 9 years since I've tried to do anything. Besides turning 30 I think part of my melancholy is the baby blues. It's easier to upset me lately, and I cry at the drop of a hat. UGH! Seriously I cried during a Hal mark commerical. I'm a dork!
So I've decided to get my life back together. Thankfully I have wonderful people behind me. I'm gonna go back to school and I'm gonna go back for history with a minor in either writing or journalism. I'm gonna start writing again. Well I already have. I actually wrote a new poem the other day. I'm gonna go through all my half started stories and either finish them, combine them or throw them away and start anew. But I am going to write 3 times a week at least. Daniel bought me a new journal so I can carry it with me at all times. That way if something comes to me I can write it down. :D
Ethan graduates Kindergarten Next week. It's so hard to believe that he's six let along gonna be in 1st grade next year. A 6 yr old and a 6 wk old. Oh my! Ethan asked me if I was gonna give him a baby sister the other day. I just laughed. Told him he has 4 older sisters he has no need for a baby sister. His reply to this, "I can't protect my bigger sisters, but a baby sister. Mack and I will watch out for her." It was the cutest thing I think I've ever heard. Highly doubtful that it will happen, but still.
I have this wonderful guy in my life, that I will one day marry. Though that is just a formality. We already call each other husband and wife. I don't know what I would do without Daniel. He is my strength and my light. He is doing everything he can to provide for our family. Even working two jobs and having almost no time to himself. I thank God every day for such a wonderful, thoughtful, caring, generous man.
I have two awesome freaking parents. I don't know what I would do without them. No matter what they've always ha my back and they're always helped me when I need it. Yes my mother and I have our issues, but what mother/daughter doesn't. As I get older I realize alot of our issues are because we are alot alike. I want to thank them for being who they are and teaching me to be me and if people don't like it, it's there lose.
I have a great set of friends. People who I couldn't have gotten through the last 2 months without. So thank you! You know who you are. I have to give Sharra and Matt a special thank you. Matt without you letting me steal your wife when I needed her, and taking over her duties at the office so she could be at the hospital with me I think I might have gone a little crazy. Shar we've had our ups and downs, but through it all we've always had each others backs. I love you and am very grateful that I have you in my life. Even with all the crap we've gone through to make it to this day. :D
I think I've babbled enough for one day. I ask that if you have a moment to take the time to read over my poems and any stories I may post. Feed back, either good or bad is always welcome. It is your opinion and I respect that even if you don't like what I write. No I may not keep it posted for everyone to see if it's negative....LOL! Just kidding.
Thank you everyone!
So I've decided to get my life back together. Thankfully I have wonderful people behind me. I'm gonna go back to school and I'm gonna go back for history with a minor in either writing or journalism. I'm gonna start writing again. Well I already have. I actually wrote a new poem the other day. I'm gonna go through all my half started stories and either finish them, combine them or throw them away and start anew. But I am going to write 3 times a week at least. Daniel bought me a new journal so I can carry it with me at all times. That way if something comes to me I can write it down. :D
Ethan graduates Kindergarten Next week. It's so hard to believe that he's six let along gonna be in 1st grade next year. A 6 yr old and a 6 wk old. Oh my! Ethan asked me if I was gonna give him a baby sister the other day. I just laughed. Told him he has 4 older sisters he has no need for a baby sister. His reply to this, "I can't protect my bigger sisters, but a baby sister. Mack and I will watch out for her." It was the cutest thing I think I've ever heard. Highly doubtful that it will happen, but still.
I have this wonderful guy in my life, that I will one day marry. Though that is just a formality. We already call each other husband and wife. I don't know what I would do without Daniel. He is my strength and my light. He is doing everything he can to provide for our family. Even working two jobs and having almost no time to himself. I thank God every day for such a wonderful, thoughtful, caring, generous man.
I have two awesome freaking parents. I don't know what I would do without them. No matter what they've always ha my back and they're always helped me when I need it. Yes my mother and I have our issues, but what mother/daughter doesn't. As I get older I realize alot of our issues are because we are alot alike. I want to thank them for being who they are and teaching me to be me and if people don't like it, it's there lose.
I have a great set of friends. People who I couldn't have gotten through the last 2 months without. So thank you! You know who you are. I have to give Sharra and Matt a special thank you. Matt without you letting me steal your wife when I needed her, and taking over her duties at the office so she could be at the hospital with me I think I might have gone a little crazy. Shar we've had our ups and downs, but through it all we've always had each others backs. I love you and am very grateful that I have you in my life. Even with all the crap we've gone through to make it to this day. :D
I think I've babbled enough for one day. I ask that if you have a moment to take the time to read over my poems and any stories I may post. Feed back, either good or bad is always welcome. It is your opinion and I respect that even if you don't like what I write. No I may not keep it posted for everyone to see if it's negative....LOL! Just kidding.
Thank you everyone!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Forever Shut
Two clouds pass each other through the light
as two friends drift in different directions.
The thread holding together their bond
slowly unravels in the evening mist.
Their souls that were so intertwined
struggle to break free of the unity they had.
A troubled butterfly flutters across the dewy meadow
while the lonely caterpillar strives to finish it's cocoon.
A single tear slides down my face
as you walk away from the dream I call friendship.
My heart skips a beat and my soul shatters
as I realize that our souls are no longer connected.
The morning sun rises for the new day
as the moon says if farewells to the darkness of night.
I greet the dawn with fear and anxiety
as I await for the blood to flow freely.
Than my eyes glaze over
and remain forever shut.
NJShotwell
03-05-07
as two friends drift in different directions.
The thread holding together their bond
slowly unravels in the evening mist.
Their souls that were so intertwined
struggle to break free of the unity they had.
A troubled butterfly flutters across the dewy meadow
while the lonely caterpillar strives to finish it's cocoon.
A single tear slides down my face
as you walk away from the dream I call friendship.
My heart skips a beat and my soul shatters
as I realize that our souls are no longer connected.
The morning sun rises for the new day
as the moon says if farewells to the darkness of night.
I greet the dawn with fear and anxiety
as I await for the blood to flow freely.
Than my eyes glaze over
and remain forever shut.
NJShotwell
03-05-07
Friday, May 7, 2010
Unbroken
Sad unsure feelings of what will come
when the corner of time passes.
Dancing softly with hopeful dreams
on stars of untold peace.
Wondering gently about the hour glass
as the sands of time drain away.
Deep thoughts of mirror faces,
angel wings pass through spaces.
Once upon a time once was,
and goblins were the kings that once did rule.
Standing before the passing of light
all that matters have no strife.
For I have stopped to exist
in my unbroken realms mind.
when the corner of time passes.
Dancing softly with hopeful dreams
on stars of untold peace.
Wondering gently about the hour glass
as the sands of time drain away.
Deep thoughts of mirror faces,
angel wings pass through spaces.
Once upon a time once was,
and goblins were the kings that once did rule.
Standing before the passing of light
all that matters have no strife.
For I have stopped to exist
in my unbroken realms mind.
Tear Drop
In a Hallway made of glass
my foot falls echo deep.
The imprints of memories past
dance with partners made of shadows.
Jogging past mirrored walls
my heart treads loudly against my breast.
The nightmare that plagues my sleep
now haunts my waking state.
My hands shake, sweat pours down my face,
my eyes sting and salt I do taste.
Glass shatters memories retreat, heart slows down
and i am nothing but a tear drop running down my loved ones face.
NJShotwell
10-9-06
my foot falls echo deep.
The imprints of memories past
dance with partners made of shadows.
Jogging past mirrored walls
my heart treads loudly against my breast.
The nightmare that plagues my sleep
now haunts my waking state.
My hands shake, sweat pours down my face,
my eyes sting and salt I do taste.
Glass shatters memories retreat, heart slows down
and i am nothing but a tear drop running down my loved ones face.
NJShotwell
10-9-06
Rambled Thoughts
From around the dark edge of the abyss
stands a legion of hungry demonic beings.
These beings are so nasty, vile and grotesque
that their battle cry causes your whole body to freeze.
The blood cursing through their veins
calls for the feel of their enemies brutal death.
This violent death give them an elated feeling
that rushes through their bodies and out into the night.
A night so still, so dark, so bleak
that it shrouds the light and holds it tight.
It holds it tightly as to secure the veil of evil
so that the demonic beings can devour the souls of the light.
N J Shotwelll
5-7-10
1122am
stands a legion of hungry demonic beings.
These beings are so nasty, vile and grotesque
that their battle cry causes your whole body to freeze.
The blood cursing through their veins
calls for the feel of their enemies brutal death.
This violent death give them an elated feeling
that rushes through their bodies and out into the night.
A night so still, so dark, so bleak
that it shrouds the light and holds it tight.
It holds it tightly as to secure the veil of evil
so that the demonic beings can devour the souls of the light.
N J Shotwelll
5-7-10
1122am
I love you
When was the last time
someone said I love you?
Said those three special words, that you knew
without a doubt that they ment every word.
They ment it in a way that you knew
it came from the bottom of thier soul.
A soul that holds unto that love,
never letting anyone pushit off course.
It stays on course bringing such love and happiness
that it makes your whole being burst into smiles.
A smile that comes from your heart,through your lips
and up to the windows of your eyes.
Eyes that look upon the one holding your heart,
the one who says I love you too!
Natasha Shotwell
10-3-06 (revised 5-7-10)
someone said I love you?
Said those three special words, that you knew
without a doubt that they ment every word.
They ment it in a way that you knew
it came from the bottom of thier soul.
A soul that holds unto that love,
never letting anyone pushit off course.
It stays on course bringing such love and happiness
that it makes your whole being burst into smiles.
A smile that comes from your heart,through your lips
and up to the windows of your eyes.
Eyes that look upon the one holding your heart,
the one who says I love you too!
Natasha Shotwell
10-3-06 (revised 5-7-10)
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